I sometimes have terrible nightmares. The kind where you wake up with your heart hammering and your clothes drenched in sweat. The kind where it takes a few minutes (or more) to be sure that the dream was truly that-- a dream. And I have suffered from them as long as I can remember. As a kid, I would wake Mommy up and then sleep next to her bed for the remainder of the night. As a teen I decided that I was too old to wake my parents for a nightmare, so I began to dig into my Bible. At first, I just remembered having heard that the Bible says that God never sleeps, so I prayed. I prayed that he would keep me and my family safe. I prayed that he would calm my heart. I prayed that he would help me believe that my dreams weren't real. And eventually I would fall back asleep. But as I read, I found verses that talked about God giving sleep and rest to those He loves. And my most favoritest:
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 4:8 (NIV)
That one verse tackled all my nighttime fears. And for the next several years allowed me to sleep mostly peacefully.
But then I grew up, and very quickly became a mom times four. Now my nighttime fears typically center around the safety of my family. Sometimes, rather than nightmares in my sleep, I lie awake and imagine all the possible worsts. (I know, that's a terrible waste of time and energy and sleep and imagination!) But God is so gracious, and has provided a new Psalm to tackle these adapted worries.
A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon. Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Psalms 127:1-2
And still...
In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.
Psalms 4:8
Monday, June 20, 2016
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Weeds
When I was very small, still first or second grade, my family had a big garden. I can remember Mommy and Daddy spending hours tilling, planting, and weeding our garden spot. As I watched them weeding, I noticed that there were A LOT of plants that were "weeds" in the garden. Having always been an information collector and word person, I asked what "weed" meant. Given the context (our garden) my parents told me that a weed is "any plant growing somewhere you don't want it". I had earlier asked why we were pulling grass out of the garden, because we wanted grass in the yard, so this definition cleared up all my confusion.
weed: noun 1. a valueless plant growing wild, especially one that grows on cultivated ground to the exclusion or injury of the desired crop
Shorty and I don't have a garden. I'm not really an outside person. But we do have a yard. While there is some nice grass, we have large chunks of weeds or bare dirt. We would like better grass and fewer bare spots, but at present we don't think it wise to devote our resources to cultivating the lawn. And weeds flourish with no cultivation whatsoever, so they can be quite difficult to remove.
I've been really battling with bitterness and self-pity recently. There are a number of circumstances I could describe, and others that I can't, which revealed this to me. I learned a number of years ago that the best way for me to fight bitterness and self-pity in my heart is to intentionally think on things for which I am thankful. Sometimes that is extremely hard! It's actually kind of like weeding a lawn or garden. Thankfulness can flourish and spread in my still-sinful heart, but not nearly as easily as bitterness. Like with my lawn, I have to be intentional to feed thankfulness (the grass) and starve or tear out bitterness and self-pity (weeds). Again, this is hard! If you've ever pulled weeds from lawn or garden, you know that their roots tend to be very long, sometimes with lots of littler roots branching off, sometimes even corkscrewing into the earth. Dear Christian, the sin in our hearts is like that. In fact, it often feels to me like I'm just getting the tops of the weeds, or maybe part of the root, while the rest sits, waiting for another opportunity to sprout. So we keep fighting. I keep battling for thankfulness. And so must you.
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
Hebrews 12:15
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
Colossians 3:5-10
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:12-17
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6
weed: noun 1. a valueless plant growing wild, especially one that grows on cultivated ground to the exclusion or injury of the desired crop
Shorty and I don't have a garden. I'm not really an outside person. But we do have a yard. While there is some nice grass, we have large chunks of weeds or bare dirt. We would like better grass and fewer bare spots, but at present we don't think it wise to devote our resources to cultivating the lawn. And weeds flourish with no cultivation whatsoever, so they can be quite difficult to remove.
I've been really battling with bitterness and self-pity recently. There are a number of circumstances I could describe, and others that I can't, which revealed this to me. I learned a number of years ago that the best way for me to fight bitterness and self-pity in my heart is to intentionally think on things for which I am thankful. Sometimes that is extremely hard! It's actually kind of like weeding a lawn or garden. Thankfulness can flourish and spread in my still-sinful heart, but not nearly as easily as bitterness. Like with my lawn, I have to be intentional to feed thankfulness (the grass) and starve or tear out bitterness and self-pity (weeds). Again, this is hard! If you've ever pulled weeds from lawn or garden, you know that their roots tend to be very long, sometimes with lots of littler roots branching off, sometimes even corkscrewing into the earth. Dear Christian, the sin in our hearts is like that. In fact, it often feels to me like I'm just getting the tops of the weeds, or maybe part of the root, while the rest sits, waiting for another opportunity to sprout. So we keep fighting. I keep battling for thankfulness. And so must you.
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
Hebrews 12:15
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
Colossians 3:5-10
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:12-17
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6
Saturday, June 18, 2016
Interruptions and Distractions
Four years ago I listened to every session from The Gospel Coalition's women's conference when it became available online. Two years ago I was elated to get to attend. This year, due to a number of circumstances, I was unable to go. I am thankful that because of technology I have been able (mostly) to"attend" from a distance.
There are definite drawbacks to this type of attendance. If I had travelled to Indianapolis, I would have made preparation for my family's needs in my absence BEFORE I left. So there would have been no further need for me to think about laundry and meals and children's schedules for these three days. As it is, my attention has been very divided between the conference and all the responsibilities of home.
Since my Crew are big kids, I told them that I would be in my room watching if they needed something. A funny thing happens when I am "unavailable" to my children. Suddenly the umbilical cord reattaches and they NEED to be in my presence to survive! 😄 (If you're a mom, you've probably experienced this phenomenon as well.) So in addition to the distractions, my children provided frequent interruptions as I tried to focus on the sessions.
Having properly attended the conference a couple of years ago, I know that there are still distractions and interruptions if you are there in person, but they tend to be minimized. So this weekend has been a very sharp illustration for me of the need to be intentional and focus on spending time with the Lord. As moms, as adults, as teenage women, even as young girls, there are a million things that we can see and touch and hear which scream for our attention. The question becomes, what is truly important? What will matter and last when I finally see the face of my Savior?
In one of the sessions I listened to four years ago, I heard this quote, "When judgment day comes, we will regret the waste of a single moment not used for the glory of Christ. We will not, however, regret one moment spent studying God's word and hiding it in our hearts. We will only wish we'd spent more moments doing so." That thought has spurred me into the Scriptures more than any other since I heard it. So I beg you, dear Sister, hear the Word of the Lord.
Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.
Psalm 46:10
The LORD is exalted, for he dwells on high;
he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness,
and he will be the stability of your times,
abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge;
the fear of the LORD is Zion's treasure.
Isaiah 33:5-6
There are definite drawbacks to this type of attendance. If I had travelled to Indianapolis, I would have made preparation for my family's needs in my absence BEFORE I left. So there would have been no further need for me to think about laundry and meals and children's schedules for these three days. As it is, my attention has been very divided between the conference and all the responsibilities of home.
Since my Crew are big kids, I told them that I would be in my room watching if they needed something. A funny thing happens when I am "unavailable" to my children. Suddenly the umbilical cord reattaches and they NEED to be in my presence to survive! 😄 (If you're a mom, you've probably experienced this phenomenon as well.) So in addition to the distractions, my children provided frequent interruptions as I tried to focus on the sessions.
Having properly attended the conference a couple of years ago, I know that there are still distractions and interruptions if you are there in person, but they tend to be minimized. So this weekend has been a very sharp illustration for me of the need to be intentional and focus on spending time with the Lord. As moms, as adults, as teenage women, even as young girls, there are a million things that we can see and touch and hear which scream for our attention. The question becomes, what is truly important? What will matter and last when I finally see the face of my Savior?
In one of the sessions I listened to four years ago, I heard this quote, "When judgment day comes, we will regret the waste of a single moment not used for the glory of Christ. We will not, however, regret one moment spent studying God's word and hiding it in our hearts. We will only wish we'd spent more moments doing so." That thought has spurred me into the Scriptures more than any other since I heard it. So I beg you, dear Sister, hear the Word of the Lord.
Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.
Psalm 46:10
The LORD is exalted, for he dwells on high;
he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness,
and he will be the stability of your times,
abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge;
the fear of the LORD is Zion's treasure.
Isaiah 33:5-6
Friday, June 17, 2016
Skin On
I can't remember when I heard this story, but when I was younger, a pastor gave an illustration of a person (I think it was a kid) who was feeling particularly lonely. This person shared that loneliness with a friend, or pastor, or something, and got the good "Christianese" answer that God could be this person's friend and alleviate the loneliness. Our lonely character then went to the Lord in prayer and said something to the effect that God's friendship was great, but he really just wanted a friend "with skin on".
For my Shorty's job right now, he has been working between seventy and eighty hours a week. He is my bestest, favoritest friend. I have many dear female friends, but they are no substitute for my Shorty. Earlier this week I was feeling intensely lonely. In my loneliness and melancholy I cried to the Lord that I really wanted a friend with skin on. Over the course of the day He reminded me how near He has always been, through "skin on" friends and through His Spirit in me. He reminded me of His faithfulness when He was my only friend. And He challenged me to rest in Him. It wasn't an instantaneous "I feel better" happy happy joy joy. But there was comfort. There was an increasing feeling of being genuinely and deeply loved. And I did begin to feel better.
The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:5-11
For my Shorty's job right now, he has been working between seventy and eighty hours a week. He is my bestest, favoritest friend. I have many dear female friends, but they are no substitute for my Shorty. Earlier this week I was feeling intensely lonely. In my loneliness and melancholy I cried to the Lord that I really wanted a friend with skin on. Over the course of the day He reminded me how near He has always been, through "skin on" friends and through His Spirit in me. He reminded me of His faithfulness when He was my only friend. And He challenged me to rest in Him. It wasn't an instantaneous "I feel better" happy happy joy joy. But there was comfort. There was an increasing feeling of being genuinely and deeply loved. And I did begin to feel better.
The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:5-11
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Repetition
I'm a mom. I have four kids. So I spend A LOT of time repeating myself. Sometimes I have to repeat myself because not all the children were near enough to hear the command or answered question. This can be annoying, but is not nearly as frustrating as having to repeat myself when they were all in close proximity. The most aggravating though, is having to repeat myself to the same child. My son was especially bad when he was younger. He could be looking me in the eye as I gave him a command, and I would still have to repeat the command four or five, or more, times!
While I am no longer a child by human reckoning, I have just been reminded that I am still a child before my God. I still act childish in my heart. I sulk and fuss and complain when things don't go as I'd prefer, and I don't listen to the instruction He so graciously and patiently gives.
I've been feeling like I'm spinning my tires at home. When people ask what I do, I have to struggle just to get words out because the first thought that comes to mind is, "I'm just a mom." I want to believe that there is dignity, purpose in the mountains of laundry, the taxiing from one place to the next, the countless trips to the store for the "something" that missed the list, the just-mopped floor that has already caught a spill, another meal, another book, another TV show, another day... but most of the time, it just feels pointless.
In His kindness, the Lord has repeated Himself to me again and again over the last few weeks. Yes, there is dignity in "just a mom". You're not "just a mom", you are first and foremost My child. There is purpose in pouring out yourself for others. It doesn't feel glamorous, but it is working glory into your soul. You are looking more and more like My Son. And these little souls that I have entrusted to you are your calling. They matter to me just as much as any other soul in your town. Pour yourself out for them. And when it is time, I'll send you more souls that need my love.
Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.
Philippians 2:17
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
1 John 3:16
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18
Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you is no trouble to me and is safe for you. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Philippians 3:1, 4:4
While I am no longer a child by human reckoning, I have just been reminded that I am still a child before my God. I still act childish in my heart. I sulk and fuss and complain when things don't go as I'd prefer, and I don't listen to the instruction He so graciously and patiently gives.
I've been feeling like I'm spinning my tires at home. When people ask what I do, I have to struggle just to get words out because the first thought that comes to mind is, "I'm just a mom." I want to believe that there is dignity, purpose in the mountains of laundry, the taxiing from one place to the next, the countless trips to the store for the "something" that missed the list, the just-mopped floor that has already caught a spill, another meal, another book, another TV show, another day... but most of the time, it just feels pointless.
In His kindness, the Lord has repeated Himself to me again and again over the last few weeks. Yes, there is dignity in "just a mom". You're not "just a mom", you are first and foremost My child. There is purpose in pouring out yourself for others. It doesn't feel glamorous, but it is working glory into your soul. You are looking more and more like My Son. And these little souls that I have entrusted to you are your calling. They matter to me just as much as any other soul in your town. Pour yourself out for them. And when it is time, I'll send you more souls that need my love.
Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.
Philippians 2:17
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
1 John 3:16
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18
Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you is no trouble to me and is safe for you. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Philippians 3:1, 4:4
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Tiny Kings
Our Sunday school teacher has been talking for the last few weeks about how conflict in relationships comes because we refuse to acknowledge and serve God as King, and instead set ourselves up as "mini kings" in our hearts. As I was waiting to fall asleep last night, I was pondering tiny kings, and I thought of the Night at the Museum movies. I thought of the tiny little cowboy, and the tiny little Roman soldier, and how they are building these elaborate battle machines and the night guard comes in and picks each of them up with two fingers. Then I thought of God. If we are the tiny people, God is infinitely more powerful, wiser, and more glorious than the night guard. Which made me think of Psalm 2.
Why do the nations rage
and the peoples plot in vain?
The kings of the earth set themselves,
and the rulers take counsel together,
against the LORD and against his Anointed, saying,
"Let us burst their bonds apart
and cast away their cords from us."
He who sits in the heavens laughs;
the Lord holds them in derision.
Then he will speak to them in his wrath,
and terrify them in his fury, saying,
"As for me, I have set my King
on Zion, my holy hill."
I will tell of the decree:
The LORD said to me, "You are my Son;
today I have begotten you.
Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage,
and the ends of the earth your possession.
You shall break them with a rod of iron
and dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel."
Now therefore, O kings, be wise;
be warned, O rulers of the earth.
Serve the LORD with fear,
and rejoice with trembling.
Kiss the Son,
lest he be angry, and you perish in the way,
for his wrath is quickly kindled.
Blessed are all who take refuge in him.
Psalms 2:1-12
We are right in the middle of an election cycle. And I my purpose is not to argue the virtues or vices of any particular candidate or party. I want to remind you that there is only one King.
Dear Christian, your Lord LAUGHS at the scheming of the tiny kings (who may seem very large to you). Trust Him. Take refuge in Him. And don't fear tiny kings!
Dear Friend, if you haven't yet taken refuge in the Son, then I beg you, "Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and you perish in the way..."
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16
Why do the nations rage
and the peoples plot in vain?
The kings of the earth set themselves,
and the rulers take counsel together,
against the LORD and against his Anointed, saying,
"Let us burst their bonds apart
and cast away their cords from us."
He who sits in the heavens laughs;
the Lord holds them in derision.
Then he will speak to them in his wrath,
and terrify them in his fury, saying,
"As for me, I have set my King
on Zion, my holy hill."
I will tell of the decree:
The LORD said to me, "You are my Son;
today I have begotten you.
Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage,
and the ends of the earth your possession.
You shall break them with a rod of iron
and dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel."
Now therefore, O kings, be wise;
be warned, O rulers of the earth.
Serve the LORD with fear,
and rejoice with trembling.
Kiss the Son,
lest he be angry, and you perish in the way,
for his wrath is quickly kindled.
Blessed are all who take refuge in him.
Psalms 2:1-12
We are right in the middle of an election cycle. And I my purpose is not to argue the virtues or vices of any particular candidate or party. I want to remind you that there is only one King.
Dear Christian, your Lord LAUGHS at the scheming of the tiny kings (who may seem very large to you). Trust Him. Take refuge in Him. And don't fear tiny kings!
Dear Friend, if you haven't yet taken refuge in the Son, then I beg you, "Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and you perish in the way..."
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Casting
My grandpa was an amazing guy. He was incredibly intelligent and almost unbelievably lucky. It seemed to me that he was good at everything he tried. One of the things I remember thinking that he was particularly good at was fishing. I didn't go with him often (I was far too talkative and impatient), but when I did I was always amazed at how far he could cast his line! You don't have to fish much to know that the best fish are usually the ones in the middle. I never caught the good ones because my cast only went a few feet-- and I was too impatient.
This morning I've been praying and worrying over a number of things. As I was practicing my memory verses, a couple of them really convicted me.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
It was the "casting" in 1 Peter that first caught my attention. It made me think of Pawpaw casting his line way out into the middle of the tank, and how he'd let it sit there and just watch. Then I thought about my puny little three foot cast, and how quickly I reeled it back in. We're talking less than three minutes from the time I started until my line was taut on the pole again! Sometimes I do really well casting my anxieties on the Lord. I'll pray and then wait to see what He's going to do. Other times it's more like I'm fishing. I mention it to the Lord, and then I reel it back in to ponder and worry... and ponder and worry... and mention it again, and then ponder and worry... cast and reel, cast and reel...
But why not worry? Because God "cares for you". God is deeply concerned with the details of your life. So talk to Him about them. And as you do that, His care displays itself as peace. Your emotions and thoughts don't run you around like Chicken Little. You are content to sit and watch what God will do. Which doesn't mean that you don't continue to ask, but your asking is characterized by peace instead of frantic pressing.
So, Christian, do not be anxious about anything, but cast all your anxieties on the Lord, because He cares for you, and He will give you peace.
This morning I've been praying and worrying over a number of things. As I was practicing my memory verses, a couple of them really convicted me.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
It was the "casting" in 1 Peter that first caught my attention. It made me think of Pawpaw casting his line way out into the middle of the tank, and how he'd let it sit there and just watch. Then I thought about my puny little three foot cast, and how quickly I reeled it back in. We're talking less than three minutes from the time I started until my line was taut on the pole again! Sometimes I do really well casting my anxieties on the Lord. I'll pray and then wait to see what He's going to do. Other times it's more like I'm fishing. I mention it to the Lord, and then I reel it back in to ponder and worry... and ponder and worry... and mention it again, and then ponder and worry... cast and reel, cast and reel...
But why not worry? Because God "cares for you". God is deeply concerned with the details of your life. So talk to Him about them. And as you do that, His care displays itself as peace. Your emotions and thoughts don't run you around like Chicken Little. You are content to sit and watch what God will do. Which doesn't mean that you don't continue to ask, but your asking is characterized by peace instead of frantic pressing.
So, Christian, do not be anxious about anything, but cast all your anxieties on the Lord, because He cares for you, and He will give you peace.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)