To the Young Mama

I read a couple of articles today about motherhood. They made me sad because both belittled the value of children and the value of motherhood. Now please don't hear me saying that every woman should be a mom, or that every mom should have as many children as possible. I don't believe either of those things. But I do believe that every human life is valuable because each one bears the image of our Creator. And I believe that motherhood is valuable because it can be a beautiful reflection of the sacrificial life of Jesus Christ.

I know several young expectant mothers right now. It is lovely to watch them grow and marvel at the life that is growing inside of them. It almost makes me miss my own pregnancy days. Almost...

Dear Young Mama,
First, I beg you to spend time knowing the Lord. You cannot be a faithful wife, you cannot be a faithful mama, if you are not growing in the knowledge of God. Your relationship with Him will fuel you for the sleepless nights and uncertainty that are an unavoidable part of parenthood. Only your Creator is sufficient to carry you through the challenges of raising a new person. Only He has the wisdom you will need to navigate the waters of parenting.

Second, work hard to not put your husband on the back burner. When this tiny new person invades your home, he or she will demand more of you than you can imagine. On those longest days after your baby has tugged at you ALL DAY LONG, it will be easy to dismiss your husband as an adult who can take care of himself. Please, Friend, remind yourself how much you love him. Remind yourself why you love him. And show him your love. Remember, this tiny person has invaded his life too. =)

Third, while it is likely that his every grunt and gurgle fills you with delight. And while you marvel at her every dimple and wave. While his antics are hilarious and her lively personality is enchanting, remember that your baby is not perfect. Your actions with regard to your little person will have far-reaching consequences. And possibly the best thing that you can teach your precious little one is that he or she is a creature under authority.

When my baby was two, she was about the cutest thing I had ever seen! We were visiting my in-laws one evening and she began to throw a fit, and it. Was. CUTE! 😄 My sister-in-law began to laugh, then quickly covered her face and said, "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't laugh, but she's just so cute!" I agreed, but my husband argued that it was NOT cute. We disputed over the cuteness for a couple of minutes, but agreed that the behavior was unacceptable and needed to be punished. Friend, what is cute at two is rarely still cute at ten. But the behaviors you allow at two set the stage for five and ten and beyond.

Finally, there is great joy in motherhood. There is also great grief. I can't tell you the measure of each that your mothering will contain. What I can tell you is that you have the profound privilege to lay down your body, your time, your comfort, for the good of another. You get to reflect the sacrificial love of the Savior.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
1 John 3:16

*** Note: I wrote this with the ideal situation in mind. If you find yourself in the position of being a single mama, you need even more to lean on your Heavenly Father.