I was talking to a dear sister recently about my new house. She has walked with me through the entire story of my married life thus far. I mentioned that as I was putting clean laundry away, I was thinking, "I love my house!" She replied that that was really cool and she knew that I hadn't loved my old house. Which had me immediately scrambling. But as I tried to excuse my discontent over my old house, I realized that I never really LOVED it. At the beginning I LIKED it. Later there was an extended season when I HATED it. And finally a season in which I was CONTENT. But never LOVE.
As I mulled over how I have felt about my houses, I realized that there was a correlation between how I felt and how I cared for my house. When I liked my house, I made an effort to care for it and make improvements. When I hated it, I did my best to ignore the messes. When I was content, it was a duty to care for it that I took seriously, but didn't often enjoy. And honestly, I don't always enjoy housework... =P But with the new house, I have room to move, room to breathe, room to organize, room to clean... and it is WONDERFUL!
Then I began to ponder if there was a similar correlation in my walk with Christ. When I "like" Him, I put forth the effort to know Him more... I don't think I've ever CONSCIOUSLY "hated" Him, but sometimes my behavior says what my mind never would... There are seasons when I'm content with where I am-- no desire, just duty... Then there are seasons when I can't get enough of Him! I'd sit on my bed reading the Bible all day long, and wish the day was LONGER!!! I'm thankful that grace covers the like, the hate, the content, and even the love. Because although I do love Him, my sin keeps me from loving Him like He deserves.
For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
Titus 3:3-7
In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
1 John 4:9-10
Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O LORD, and you are exalted as head above all.
1 Chronicles 29:11
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