Modesty Discussion

This weekend there was a thread trending in my newsfeed about modesty. I found the discussion frustrating. First of all, I find it frustrating because this is an "in house" discussion. That is to say, we really don't need to be engaging the culture at large on the issue of modesty primarily. They need the gospel. Until Christ gives them new hearts to love Him and His law, changing their attire will help their souls not a bit. So, if you are reading this, and you have not trusted Jesus Christ as your Savior, I'm not really talking to you.

Now, with regards to the discussion, I typically see it playing out like this. From the guy: "You need to cover up because I'm wired to want you sexually when I see [this amount] of your body." From the girl: "I want to be cute. You just need to control your thoughts and/or look away." It is classic blame game as old as Adam and Eve. In the garden, after eating the fruit, Adam blamed both Eve and God for his fall (Genesis 3:12). And while Eve blamed the serpent (Genesis 3:13), we are quick to throw the blame with the guys. But blame is not loving. So if we claim to be Christians, LOVE, not BLAME is supposed to characterize the way we interact. We are told that all people will know us as disciples of Christ by our love for each other (John 13:35). And that love is a fruit (result) of having the Holy Spirit living in you (Galatians 5:22). We are also told in the "love chapter" (1 Corinthians 13) that love does not insist on its own way and that it bears all things. And we are commanded to show our love by trying to outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10). This same concept is described elsewhere as [counting] others more significant than yourselves (Philippians 2:3).

So what is my view? Well, I am teaching my son what we believe to be modest, but also that when he is presented with immodesty, he has a responsibility to work to guard his mind and control himself. I am teaching my daughters that while they are not responsible for the thoughts of others, they do have a responsibility to cover themselves in a way that will honor their God and the eyes of the people who see them. Christian brothers and sisters, let's stop throwing blame around and making excuses, and LOVE ONE ANOTHER!

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Philippians 2:1-8
 
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2