When I was a kid I thought my Mommy was pretty amazing-- at least when I stopped to think about it. She poured out her time, her energy, her life, to benefit our family. On Mother's Day when I was ten, the pastor asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. I responded that I wanted to be a mom. So twenty years later I'm living my dream. Except its not exactly what I'd envisioned. The days are longer. The nights are shorter. The laundry is bigger and smellier. Cooking gets tedious and monotonous. And I often feel like my instruction is just wasted breath.
And in those moments I believe a lie. Ever since high school, there have been people in my life who have told me that using my skills and talents at home is a waste. I've heard that I'm too smart to waste my brain raising my kids. I've heard that I'm wasting my most productive years by staying out of the work force to serve my family. And when all I see is what I think I'm NOT accomplishing, I believe that my life is a waste.
Dear Sister, if you feel that pull in your heart (whether you stay at home to work, or add outside work to your life as well) hear the words of our God. What you are doing right now (as long as it isn't sin) is exactly what God wants you to be doing. And He NEVER wastes anything!
Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. Were you a slave when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ. You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.
1 Corinthians 7:17-24
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. "For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
Isaiah 55:8-11
Thursday, June 30, 2016
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Never-changing
Shorty's and my fifteenth anniversary came and went earlier this month. I would say we celebrated, but since he's working crazy-long hours right now we really didn't see much of one another. Fifteen years is kind of a long time. Right now it's almost half my life. I've learned a few things about him over the years. For example, it took me thirteen years to learn that he LOVES roast turkey (think Thanksgiving dinner). However, it's kind of frustrating to THINK I've learned something only to find out later that I misunderstood-- or he changed his mind. Like when I was sure that he'd told me that he doesn't like sauteed onions and bell peppers at breakfast, but when I shared that with someone else he was offended and insisted that he does like them. I know he's had a similar feeling towards me. In fact, I have yet to meet a couple who have been married more than a few years that HAVEN'T experienced this. No matter how well we know one another, our knowledge is subject to change because we change.
As I thought about this, I was so thankful that our relationship with the Lord isn't like that. Once you learn something about Him (as long as it is true) it will NEVER change. So you've learned that God is loving... He will ALWAYS be loving. Or you've learned that He doesn't need sleep... He will NEVER need sleep. Or you've learned that He is the source of life... He will never cease to be the source of life. This is a comfort, but only insofar as what you know of Him is really true. So dig into the Word, and get to know the never-changing God.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
James 1:17
God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?
Numbers 23:19
Of old you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but you are the same, and your years have no end.
Psalm 102:25-27
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Hebrews 13:8
As I thought about this, I was so thankful that our relationship with the Lord isn't like that. Once you learn something about Him (as long as it is true) it will NEVER change. So you've learned that God is loving... He will ALWAYS be loving. Or you've learned that He doesn't need sleep... He will NEVER need sleep. Or you've learned that He is the source of life... He will never cease to be the source of life. This is a comfort, but only insofar as what you know of Him is really true. So dig into the Word, and get to know the never-changing God.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
James 1:17
God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?
Numbers 23:19
Of old you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but you are the same, and your years have no end.
Psalm 102:25-27
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Hebrews 13:8
Monday, June 20, 2016
Sweet Dreams
I sometimes have terrible nightmares. The kind where you wake up with your heart hammering and your clothes drenched in sweat. The kind where it takes a few minutes (or more) to be sure that the dream was truly that-- a dream. And I have suffered from them as long as I can remember. As a kid, I would wake Mommy up and then sleep next to her bed for the remainder of the night. As a teen I decided that I was too old to wake my parents for a nightmare, so I began to dig into my Bible. At first, I just remembered having heard that the Bible says that God never sleeps, so I prayed. I prayed that he would keep me and my family safe. I prayed that he would calm my heart. I prayed that he would help me believe that my dreams weren't real. And eventually I would fall back asleep. But as I read, I found verses that talked about God giving sleep and rest to those He loves. And my most favoritest:
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 4:8 (NIV)
That one verse tackled all my nighttime fears. And for the next several years allowed me to sleep mostly peacefully.
But then I grew up, and very quickly became a mom times four. Now my nighttime fears typically center around the safety of my family. Sometimes, rather than nightmares in my sleep, I lie awake and imagine all the possible worsts. (I know, that's a terrible waste of time and energy and sleep and imagination!) But God is so gracious, and has provided a new Psalm to tackle these adapted worries.
A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon. Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Psalms 127:1-2
And still...
In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.
Psalms 4:8
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 4:8 (NIV)
That one verse tackled all my nighttime fears. And for the next several years allowed me to sleep mostly peacefully.
But then I grew up, and very quickly became a mom times four. Now my nighttime fears typically center around the safety of my family. Sometimes, rather than nightmares in my sleep, I lie awake and imagine all the possible worsts. (I know, that's a terrible waste of time and energy and sleep and imagination!) But God is so gracious, and has provided a new Psalm to tackle these adapted worries.
A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon. Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Psalms 127:1-2
And still...
In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.
Psalms 4:8
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Weeds
When I was very small, still first or second grade, my family had a big garden. I can remember Mommy and Daddy spending hours tilling, planting, and weeding our garden spot. As I watched them weeding, I noticed that there were A LOT of plants that were "weeds" in the garden. Having always been an information collector and word person, I asked what "weed" meant. Given the context (our garden) my parents told me that a weed is "any plant growing somewhere you don't want it". I had earlier asked why we were pulling grass out of the garden, because we wanted grass in the yard, so this definition cleared up all my confusion.
weed: noun 1. a valueless plant growing wild, especially one that grows on cultivated ground to the exclusion or injury of the desired crop
Shorty and I don't have a garden. I'm not really an outside person. But we do have a yard. While there is some nice grass, we have large chunks of weeds or bare dirt. We would like better grass and fewer bare spots, but at present we don't think it wise to devote our resources to cultivating the lawn. And weeds flourish with no cultivation whatsoever, so they can be quite difficult to remove.
I've been really battling with bitterness and self-pity recently. There are a number of circumstances I could describe, and others that I can't, which revealed this to me. I learned a number of years ago that the best way for me to fight bitterness and self-pity in my heart is to intentionally think on things for which I am thankful. Sometimes that is extremely hard! It's actually kind of like weeding a lawn or garden. Thankfulness can flourish and spread in my still-sinful heart, but not nearly as easily as bitterness. Like with my lawn, I have to be intentional to feed thankfulness (the grass) and starve or tear out bitterness and self-pity (weeds). Again, this is hard! If you've ever pulled weeds from lawn or garden, you know that their roots tend to be very long, sometimes with lots of littler roots branching off, sometimes even corkscrewing into the earth. Dear Christian, the sin in our hearts is like that. In fact, it often feels to me like I'm just getting the tops of the weeds, or maybe part of the root, while the rest sits, waiting for another opportunity to sprout. So we keep fighting. I keep battling for thankfulness. And so must you.
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
Hebrews 12:15
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
Colossians 3:5-10
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:12-17
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6
weed: noun 1. a valueless plant growing wild, especially one that grows on cultivated ground to the exclusion or injury of the desired crop
Shorty and I don't have a garden. I'm not really an outside person. But we do have a yard. While there is some nice grass, we have large chunks of weeds or bare dirt. We would like better grass and fewer bare spots, but at present we don't think it wise to devote our resources to cultivating the lawn. And weeds flourish with no cultivation whatsoever, so they can be quite difficult to remove.
I've been really battling with bitterness and self-pity recently. There are a number of circumstances I could describe, and others that I can't, which revealed this to me. I learned a number of years ago that the best way for me to fight bitterness and self-pity in my heart is to intentionally think on things for which I am thankful. Sometimes that is extremely hard! It's actually kind of like weeding a lawn or garden. Thankfulness can flourish and spread in my still-sinful heart, but not nearly as easily as bitterness. Like with my lawn, I have to be intentional to feed thankfulness (the grass) and starve or tear out bitterness and self-pity (weeds). Again, this is hard! If you've ever pulled weeds from lawn or garden, you know that their roots tend to be very long, sometimes with lots of littler roots branching off, sometimes even corkscrewing into the earth. Dear Christian, the sin in our hearts is like that. In fact, it often feels to me like I'm just getting the tops of the weeds, or maybe part of the root, while the rest sits, waiting for another opportunity to sprout. So we keep fighting. I keep battling for thankfulness. And so must you.
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
Hebrews 12:15
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
Colossians 3:5-10
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:12-17
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6
Saturday, June 18, 2016
Interruptions and Distractions
Four years ago I listened to every session from The Gospel Coalition's women's conference when it became available online. Two years ago I was elated to get to attend. This year, due to a number of circumstances, I was unable to go. I am thankful that because of technology I have been able (mostly) to"attend" from a distance.
There are definite drawbacks to this type of attendance. If I had travelled to Indianapolis, I would have made preparation for my family's needs in my absence BEFORE I left. So there would have been no further need for me to think about laundry and meals and children's schedules for these three days. As it is, my attention has been very divided between the conference and all the responsibilities of home.
Since my Crew are big kids, I told them that I would be in my room watching if they needed something. A funny thing happens when I am "unavailable" to my children. Suddenly the umbilical cord reattaches and they NEED to be in my presence to survive! 😄 (If you're a mom, you've probably experienced this phenomenon as well.) So in addition to the distractions, my children provided frequent interruptions as I tried to focus on the sessions.
Having properly attended the conference a couple of years ago, I know that there are still distractions and interruptions if you are there in person, but they tend to be minimized. So this weekend has been a very sharp illustration for me of the need to be intentional and focus on spending time with the Lord. As moms, as adults, as teenage women, even as young girls, there are a million things that we can see and touch and hear which scream for our attention. The question becomes, what is truly important? What will matter and last when I finally see the face of my Savior?
In one of the sessions I listened to four years ago, I heard this quote, "When judgment day comes, we will regret the waste of a single moment not used for the glory of Christ. We will not, however, regret one moment spent studying God's word and hiding it in our hearts. We will only wish we'd spent more moments doing so." That thought has spurred me into the Scriptures more than any other since I heard it. So I beg you, dear Sister, hear the Word of the Lord.
Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.
Psalm 46:10
The LORD is exalted, for he dwells on high;
he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness,
and he will be the stability of your times,
abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge;
the fear of the LORD is Zion's treasure.
Isaiah 33:5-6
There are definite drawbacks to this type of attendance. If I had travelled to Indianapolis, I would have made preparation for my family's needs in my absence BEFORE I left. So there would have been no further need for me to think about laundry and meals and children's schedules for these three days. As it is, my attention has been very divided between the conference and all the responsibilities of home.
Since my Crew are big kids, I told them that I would be in my room watching if they needed something. A funny thing happens when I am "unavailable" to my children. Suddenly the umbilical cord reattaches and they NEED to be in my presence to survive! 😄 (If you're a mom, you've probably experienced this phenomenon as well.) So in addition to the distractions, my children provided frequent interruptions as I tried to focus on the sessions.
Having properly attended the conference a couple of years ago, I know that there are still distractions and interruptions if you are there in person, but they tend to be minimized. So this weekend has been a very sharp illustration for me of the need to be intentional and focus on spending time with the Lord. As moms, as adults, as teenage women, even as young girls, there are a million things that we can see and touch and hear which scream for our attention. The question becomes, what is truly important? What will matter and last when I finally see the face of my Savior?
In one of the sessions I listened to four years ago, I heard this quote, "When judgment day comes, we will regret the waste of a single moment not used for the glory of Christ. We will not, however, regret one moment spent studying God's word and hiding it in our hearts. We will only wish we'd spent more moments doing so." That thought has spurred me into the Scriptures more than any other since I heard it. So I beg you, dear Sister, hear the Word of the Lord.
Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.
Psalm 46:10
The LORD is exalted, for he dwells on high;
he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness,
and he will be the stability of your times,
abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge;
the fear of the LORD is Zion's treasure.
Isaiah 33:5-6
Friday, June 17, 2016
Skin On
I can't remember when I heard this story, but when I was younger, a pastor gave an illustration of a person (I think it was a kid) who was feeling particularly lonely. This person shared that loneliness with a friend, or pastor, or something, and got the good "Christianese" answer that God could be this person's friend and alleviate the loneliness. Our lonely character then went to the Lord in prayer and said something to the effect that God's friendship was great, but he really just wanted a friend "with skin on".
For my Shorty's job right now, he has been working between seventy and eighty hours a week. He is my bestest, favoritest friend. I have many dear female friends, but they are no substitute for my Shorty. Earlier this week I was feeling intensely lonely. In my loneliness and melancholy I cried to the Lord that I really wanted a friend with skin on. Over the course of the day He reminded me how near He has always been, through "skin on" friends and through His Spirit in me. He reminded me of His faithfulness when He was my only friend. And He challenged me to rest in Him. It wasn't an instantaneous "I feel better" happy happy joy joy. But there was comfort. There was an increasing feeling of being genuinely and deeply loved. And I did begin to feel better.
The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:5-11
For my Shorty's job right now, he has been working between seventy and eighty hours a week. He is my bestest, favoritest friend. I have many dear female friends, but they are no substitute for my Shorty. Earlier this week I was feeling intensely lonely. In my loneliness and melancholy I cried to the Lord that I really wanted a friend with skin on. Over the course of the day He reminded me how near He has always been, through "skin on" friends and through His Spirit in me. He reminded me of His faithfulness when He was my only friend. And He challenged me to rest in Him. It wasn't an instantaneous "I feel better" happy happy joy joy. But there was comfort. There was an increasing feeling of being genuinely and deeply loved. And I did begin to feel better.
The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:5-11
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Repetition
I'm a mom. I have four kids. So I spend A LOT of time repeating myself. Sometimes I have to repeat myself because not all the children were near enough to hear the command or answered question. This can be annoying, but is not nearly as frustrating as having to repeat myself when they were all in close proximity. The most aggravating though, is having to repeat myself to the same child. My son was especially bad when he was younger. He could be looking me in the eye as I gave him a command, and I would still have to repeat the command four or five, or more, times!
While I am no longer a child by human reckoning, I have just been reminded that I am still a child before my God. I still act childish in my heart. I sulk and fuss and complain when things don't go as I'd prefer, and I don't listen to the instruction He so graciously and patiently gives.
I've been feeling like I'm spinning my tires at home. When people ask what I do, I have to struggle just to get words out because the first thought that comes to mind is, "I'm just a mom." I want to believe that there is dignity, purpose in the mountains of laundry, the taxiing from one place to the next, the countless trips to the store for the "something" that missed the list, the just-mopped floor that has already caught a spill, another meal, another book, another TV show, another day... but most of the time, it just feels pointless.
In His kindness, the Lord has repeated Himself to me again and again over the last few weeks. Yes, there is dignity in "just a mom". You're not "just a mom", you are first and foremost My child. There is purpose in pouring out yourself for others. It doesn't feel glamorous, but it is working glory into your soul. You are looking more and more like My Son. And these little souls that I have entrusted to you are your calling. They matter to me just as much as any other soul in your town. Pour yourself out for them. And when it is time, I'll send you more souls that need my love.
Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.
Philippians 2:17
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
1 John 3:16
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18
Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you is no trouble to me and is safe for you. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Philippians 3:1, 4:4
While I am no longer a child by human reckoning, I have just been reminded that I am still a child before my God. I still act childish in my heart. I sulk and fuss and complain when things don't go as I'd prefer, and I don't listen to the instruction He so graciously and patiently gives.
I've been feeling like I'm spinning my tires at home. When people ask what I do, I have to struggle just to get words out because the first thought that comes to mind is, "I'm just a mom." I want to believe that there is dignity, purpose in the mountains of laundry, the taxiing from one place to the next, the countless trips to the store for the "something" that missed the list, the just-mopped floor that has already caught a spill, another meal, another book, another TV show, another day... but most of the time, it just feels pointless.
In His kindness, the Lord has repeated Himself to me again and again over the last few weeks. Yes, there is dignity in "just a mom". You're not "just a mom", you are first and foremost My child. There is purpose in pouring out yourself for others. It doesn't feel glamorous, but it is working glory into your soul. You are looking more and more like My Son. And these little souls that I have entrusted to you are your calling. They matter to me just as much as any other soul in your town. Pour yourself out for them. And when it is time, I'll send you more souls that need my love.
Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.
Philippians 2:17
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
1 John 3:16
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18
Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you is no trouble to me and is safe for you. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Philippians 3:1, 4:4
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