Grumpy Bear

As we were eating breakfast yesterday, Chaya said, "It's family day! It's been a LONG time since we had family day." (Family day is when we spend the whole day together to build our relationships as a family.) Shorty told Chaya that we were committed to helping a family from church move. She replied, "We can have a family day and help them move." So we decided that after the moving was done, we would have at least a "family afternoon". =) After lunch, the kids started playing a game, so I decided that I'd read a book while they were playing. But by the time I needed to start supper, I was in a really grumpy mood. I really thought I'd have time to finish my book, but I didn't. So I was frustrated with myself for using that time to play instead of doing some of the chores that were waiting for me. I snapped at the kids, and huffed and puffed, and generally made myself pretty unpleasant to be around.

I've written before that there is nothing I can do to make God love me any more, and nothing I can do to make Him love me any less than He already does in Christ. And I believe that. I find great comfort in that. But I like to feel good about myself. When I behave as I described above (because this is not a singular occurrence) I don't feel good about myself. Part of the reason is because I know that God expects more from me than that, but that is laced with selfish sinfulness. BUT GOD is patient, and good, and never surprised by my sin. He sees me more clearly than I can even see myself, and He chose to love me! =)

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
Romans 7:18-19
 
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you have been saved-- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 2:4-7
 
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalms 73:25-26