Jealousy

I have a lot of sisters; sisters in Christ, sisters by marriage, but my "first sister" grew up with me.  She and I get along famously-- most of the time! ;)  I tell people that we are negatives of one another (as in film negatives compared to prints).  I have a dark complexion and coloring, she has fair hair and skin and beautiful blue eyes.  I'm more extroverted, she's more introverted.  I'm more high-strung, she's more laid back.

If you didn't know us as kids, you might assume that we've always gotten along well, but that is not the case.  In fact, for most of our childhood we didn't like each other much at all.  She might say the dislike was more one-sided if you were to ask her... She might say I was just mean, and it's hard to like someone who is mean to you.  And I couldn't argue.  I wasn't a nice sister.  I was always jealous of her.  I often heard people talking about how "cute", or "pretty", or "happy", or "content" she was.  And I struggle with wanting to be the center of attention.  Not only that, I AGREED with those assessments of her-- at least sometimes.  Even now, on my weaker days, I find myself wishing to be in her shoes... so I have to be reminded that God made me for the life He's given me, NOT the life He's given my sister.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.
Romans 12:1-5