Saturday, December 19, 2015

Carefully Formed

My grandparents are old. Perhaps "aged" is a better term, as "old" is overused and abused. After all, when each successive generation calls the ones before it "old", the term becomes diluted at the least. So, my grandparents are aged. All three are in their seventies. They have lived full lives. They've seen children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren grow. They've seen changes in technology that they perhaps wouldn't have ever dreamed possible. They have endured hard times. They have celebrated milestones. And now the years hang heavy in laugh and frown lines, in hair that is not as dark and thick as it once was, in muscles that can't carry the load they once did, and bones that have grown weak and thin.

I was thinking this morning about the inevitability of death, and the grief of losing those you love, and I was reminded of this verse.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
Psalm 139:16

As I chewed on that verse, I was extremely comforted.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance... I thought about that first moment, the moment when the egg is fertilized and a new life begins. You were seen before your mother knew she was pregnant! I was known. My parents and grandparents were known.

...in your book were written... Books record and preserve information. It's not as though God needed to write things down so He wouldn't forget. It speaks more to the certainty of what is written. Most of the time, once something is written it is preserved as long as the page survives.

...every one of them... Again we're faced with the certainty of what is written. As a believer, it comforts my soul to know that each of my days and moments is certain. From what happens in a day to exactly how many of them there will be. And that certainty and comfort apply when I think about my friends and family who also hope in Christ. So, while it is painful to see my grandparents aging, I know that this day was written for them long before they were born.

...the days that were formed for me... In the flow of this verse we now have a contrast between "unformed substance" and "days that were formed". Forming doesn't happen by chance. It expresses a deliberate and careful attention to the way a day will go. When God wrote my days in His book, He carefully formed each one.

...when as yet there was none of them. This takes us back to the top, and it blows my mind. How can God see and know me when I don't even exist? And yet this verse says that not only did He know and see me, but He had already carefully formed each of my days. What a comfort!

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Happy Snowmen

I love snowmen. I got my first snowman decoration when I was ten, but in the Rocky Mountains snow and snowmen aren't much of a novelty. By late high school my family had moved twice, and in both locations snow was a rarity-- and I MISSED IT! So as a young adult I began to collect snowmen in earnest. I have figurines, sun catchers, candles, chalkboards, dishes, Christmas ornaments, jewelry, clothing, and more all featuring snowmen.

I have two different sets of snowman dishes, along with sundry pieces that don't match. Because my Crew do the dishes, and they're kids, something snowman gets broken almost every year. Invariably, whoever did the breaking is distraught, and sometimes in tears. As a young mom I was very volatile. I had not yet learned to control my temper, and I yelled a lot, especially when things got broken. But at this point, I think they are upset because they know that my snowmen make me happy. And it makes them sad when I am unhappy.

I've been trying to bring my snowmen out of hibernation for a few weeks now, and I've been thinking about what may get broken this year. And I began to wonder, how much do I know about what makes my Father happy? And does it make me sad to do what displeases Him because I love Him? Dear Christian, our Father has told us what pleases Him. He has shown us His love by sending Jesus to live and die in our place. So live to please Him!

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?
Micah 6:8
 

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20
 

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:1-2

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Who lives here?

When Goldilocks enters the house of the three bears, we learn a little bit about those bears. We learn that Papa Bear likes his porridge hot and his chair and bed hard. We learn that Mama Bear likes her porridge quite cool and her chair and bed very soft. And we learn that Baby Bear likes things much the same as Goldilocks.

I've been in the homes of several friends the past week or so, and I started thinking about how their homes reflect their personalities, and the dynamics of their families. One friend has very clean lines and neutral colors, and very little ones. Another likes bolder colors and patterns, and has medium-sized kids. And I thought about my house. My style (if you can call it that) is really more hodge-podge. There is very little continuity-- except when my snowmen come out of hibernation! And honestly, most of the time it looks like a tornado tore through (which may not be far from the truth!) For a minute I wished that my home looked more like my friends', a little more order, a little more continuity. But then I thought that I probably wouldn't like that look for long.

And then I pondered the whole reflection thing. The Bible says that when we trust in Christ for salvation, the Holy Spirit comes to live in us. We are told that God is just and true and beautiful and kind and holy. If a dwelling place reflects its occupant, then Christians should begin to display more and more of these characteristics. Dear Christian, are you reflecting the Spirit who lives in you?

And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.
Ephesians 2:17-22
 

As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 2:4-5

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Follow the Strands

I was privileged to meet many of my great-grandparents. Some seemed vibrant, almost as young as their children-- my grandparents. Others seemed more like the stereotypical crotchety old people. And while I didn't particularly enjoy visiting the "crotchety" ones, there were things about their houses that I did enjoy. One of my great-grandmas made exquisite quilts. She pieced some, and bought printed tops that she then hand quilted for others. Her garage had a MASSIVE hanging quilting rack, always with a new work in progress. I guess in my mind she was the quilt lady. My favorite thing about visiting her was tracing the patterns and shapes and colors in the many quilts at her house. I loved counting shapes delicately stitched again and again. I loved following the "paths" around the corners and curves. And I loved watching the interplay of colors and patterns as they raced over the edge of the bed.

Yesterday I was thinking about a verse that I've recently taped on my mirror. And I began to follow the strands through Scripture.

This God-- his way is perfect, the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him... You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great
Psalm 18:30, 35

The words shield and salvation jumped out at me. And I was reminded of the passage in Ephesians about the armor of God.

In all circumstances take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,
Ephesians 6:16-17

I thought about how both a helmet and a shield protect, or guard, your body. My mind then skipped to Philippians.

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

I slowed down to chew on verse seven. I wondered how the peace of God would guard my heart and mind. I thought of Romans where it says that we have peace WITH God.

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:1 

And I thought perhaps that is the driving force behind the peace that surpasses understanding. Perhaps we have peace in the difficulties of life precisely because we know that we already have peace WITH God.

At that point I'd exhausted my memory, so I pulled out my Bible app and searched "peace of God". I was surprised when my search showed that that phrase doesn't occur in the Old Testament. And it only occurs once in the New Testament. At least in the English translation. What does occur frequently in the New Testament is the phrase "God of peace". So perhaps another reason we have peace in the midst of difficulty is because we worship the God of peace, and little by little we are becoming more like Him.

Friend, much like the repeated patterns and threads in my grandmother's quilts, the Bible has strands of similarity woven throughout. God has revealed Himself to us so that we may know and worship Him. We just have to believe, and follow the strands.

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:23 

Friday, September 4, 2015

Killing the Hostility

hostilility: noun 1.a hostile state, condition, or attitude; enmity; antagonism; unfriendliness

I have been grieved in recent weeks almost every time I look at my newsfeed on Facebook. It seems like so many posts and links either recount or spew hostility. They swirl with tragedy, abuse, travesty, injustice, violence. And I am most bothered by the fact that some of this hostility comes from people who claim Jesus as their Lord. 

Dear Christian, we of all people should be MOST COMPASSIONATE because we see our sin! We should be MOST GRACIOUS because we know what sinners need! We should be MOST KIND because we long for the grace and hope we've received to extend to others!

This does not mean that we cease to speak out against sin. Sin should grieve us because it is an assault on God's holiness. Sin should grieve us because it destroys people and relationships. And I should grieve first over my own sin. And then, because I love you, I should plead with you to repent of your sin and turn to the Savior.

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.
Ephesians 2:13-16


We can talk about all kinds of differences. Race. Gender. Ethnicity. Political party. But really there is only one kind of person. Sinners. And Jesus came to break down all the walls we erect for ourselves, and unite us in Himself.  He brought us peace! Peace with God and peace with others! And because of His work, we should have no hostility left for God's image bearers!

And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.
Ephesians 2:17-22


Dear Christian, preach the way to peace! Preach Jesus Christ, the Savior of sinners! Preach the One who loves His image bearers and died to restore them!

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

I know you.

My mommy was a wonderful example to me of how to make your children feel special and loved when they are away. I often got little notes in my lunchbox when I was in elementary school. If I was gone for a more extended period, she'd send cards and things in the mail, or treats in my bag. Because of that, I spent part of last week buying little treats for my big girl's lunchbox. I wanted her to know that even though she is not physically with us, we are still thinking of her. I told her this morning that, for this first week, there will be a special SOMETHING in her lunchbox each day. Her response was, "I figured." I was intrigued. I asked why. She said, "It's logical." I asked her to explain, and she said, "I KNOW you."

This conversation got me thinking. We know and believe that God knows us. But how well do we know Him? In our conversation, my daughter explained that my past actions and character were consistent with my current display of love. Do we know our Father like that? Have we come to know His past actions through His word? Have we learned of His character? Do we KNOW Him so well that His present displays of faithfulness and love just seem LOGICAL? Dear Christian, our Father has revealed Himself to us so that we may KNOW HIM!

But the LORD said to Moses, "Now you shall see what I will do to Pharaoh; for with a strong hand he will send them out, and with a strong hand he will drive them out of his land." God spoke to Moses and said to him, "I am the LORD. I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, as God Almighty, but by my name the LORD I did not make myself known to them. I also established my covenant with them to give them the land of Canaan, the land in which they lived as sojourners. Moreover, I have heard the groaning of the people of Israel whom the Egyptians hold as slaves, and I have remembered my covenant. Say therefore to the people of Israel, 'I am the LORD, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will deliver you from slavery to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great acts of judgment. I will take you to be my people, and I will be your God, and you shall know that I am the LORD your God, who has brought you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians.
Exodus 6:1-7
 

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.
Psalms 9:10

Monday, August 24, 2015

Very Near

Today is a big day for our family. My oldest is attending her first day of school. First day of public school, that is, as an eighth grader. It is strange. Having had her present for the majority of the hours and days that make up her just-over-thirteen years, we are all feeling her absence. And yet I feel, in some way, that I am walking through her first day with her. I went with her to pick up her schedule. I walked through those halls with her, memorizing classroom numbers and locations. And she was shocked on Saturday to discover that I know her schedule. So, as the minutes tick by, and I work my way through another day, I'm thinking of where she is-- what subject she's being introduced to-- and I'm looking forward to the moment when I get to pick her up and hear all about her first day.

As I was thinking about how it almost feels like I'm walking through her day with her, I thought about God's nearness. It seems fairly easy, when we think about the universe which He created, to realize how BIG God is. How powerful. How awesome, kingly, too much for words. But dear Christian, do you also realize that God is NEAR to you! So. Very. Near. He is that attentive parent who walks new halls with you. He knows your schedule better than you do. And He CARES! And unlike the parent who has to wait until the end of the day to hear your joys and fears, He is actually WITH you. Every moment. Every hour. Every day.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
Psalms 139:16


fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Matthew 28:18-20

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Purge

Just before Shorty and I got married, we bought a "cute" little fixer upper. It was just over 1,000 square feet and had too many issues to recount here. Within the first six years of our marriage we added all four members of our Crew, and so we were six-- in just over 1,000 square feet. Because of our limited space, I regularly threw things away. And I taught the older three to throw and give things away as well. It was just necessary.

But a little over two years ago, we were able to buy a house that is just under 2,000 square feet. I've been able to stop playing the sort and throw away game. And I hadn't made any of the Crew throw much of anything away... until last week. Our youngest was only six when we moved, and she really doesn't remember the sometimes painful process of purging. I've told her that if she's going to keep something, she has to find it a home. But she is a collector (read that "pack rat") at heart, and her stuff has overflown its homes. We emptied every drawer and shelf. We sorted every piece of paper. We examined every item on the tops of her furniture. We pulled things out that had hidden under dressers. And we threw things away. There were several times during this process that Little Bit was nearly in tears. I could see on her face when I asked why she wanted to keep a particular item that she was wrestling with keeping it "just because". It was a rather traumatic experience for her.

You might be wondering why I put her through that process when I could have just given her another box or folder or whatever. The question was not nearly so much about space as about responsibility. The question was what was best for her. She is a bit flighty. Her attention span is somewhat short and easily interrupted. So keeping her stuff in homes was overwhelming for her. Also, she was placing her happiness and sense of security in her piles. So I made her purge.

Dear Christian, our Father loves us much more than I love my Little Bit. Not only does He want what is best for us, He KNOWS what is best for us. And He is faithful to remove things from us when they are not best. It is painful. It is hard. But it is for our good. Trust your Father. Let go of the "stuff" and embrace Him.

And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:5-11

Monday, July 6, 2015

Wasting Away

I grew up watching Disney movies. One of my favorites was "The Little Mermaid". Even the when I first watched it in the theater, I laughed when we met Ursula. If you haven't seen it, she is the antagonist, a very full-figured half-octopus. And she makes this statement, "And now, look at me - wasted away to practically nothing - banished, and exiled, and practically starving..." She looks anything but starving. This is one of the first things I think of when I hear "wasting away". The other is pictures I've seen from concentration camps in the Holocaust. Black and white photos where the subjects look like skeletons with sparse, wiry hair.

waste: verb 1. to consume, spend, or employ uselessly or without adequate return; use to no avail or profit; squander
2. to fail or neglect to use 
3. to destroy or consume gradually; wear away
4. to wear down or reduce in bodily substance, health, or strength; emaciate; enfeeble
5. to destroy, devastate, or ruin
~ Dictionary.com

I have seen a person's legs wither away because they cannot carry their owner. I have seen a woman's mind deteriorate to the point that she no longer recognizes the children she raised. I have seen cancer eat a vibrant man to a shadow of his former strength. I have seen people who, because of the sorrows of living, have lost themselves to one substance or another. And it makes me angry. And it makes me sad. It hurts that people I care for are, in one way or another, wasting away. We were created to live. We were created to fellowship with our Creator. We were created for joy! And yet here we are. Wasting away.

But God...

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you have been saved-- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 2:4-7
 

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18


Dear Friend, God the Son, Jesus Christ left heaven to suffer on earth. He lived perfectly in our place, and then died to bear God's wrath against our sins. He died to save us from the penalty and the effects of sin. Because one day those who have believed in Him for salvation will be raised to live forever in bodies that will no longer be subject to the waste of sin! In Him is life! In His presence is fullness of joy! This is hope.

Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you--unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve.
1 Corinthians 15:1-5

Friday, July 3, 2015

Live or Die

When there is only one serving of leftovers which Shorty and I both enjoy, an argument ensues. Not the kind you would expect where we are fighting to have it for ourselves, but rather we are fighting to give it away. Recently this happened, and the Crew said, "Why do y'all do that?!?" I told them it was because we love each other. We each desire the joy of the other above our own. 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Ephesians 5:22

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Ephesians 5:25

I read an article earlier this week dealing with this command to husbands, but I can't think of one command without the other. Both commands call us to give ourselves away. Both demand that we be willing to set the desires of the other above our own. Which brought me around to thinking about Christ. He left heaven. He had enjoyed perfect community with the Father and the Spirit from eternity past, but He left for my sake. He came to earth as a baby. He felt hunger, thirst, pain, fatigue. He bound Himself to time and space so that He could earn righteousness and pay the debt of sin for His people! That is why my brothers and sisters around the world are willing to die to share the gospel. That is why we strive and pray and struggle to live our lives according to the commands of Scripture, even when it is unpopular.

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Philippians 2:3-8
 

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Colossians 3:16-19

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Summer

I love summer. I love our local library with its ever increasing summer programs. I love shimmering suffocating hot days that make you crave ice cream and popsicles and swimming pools. I love long hours of sunshine, and lazy afternoons. I even love staying up late and sleeping later. Except when I don't.

For the last few years it has been my goal to keep our summer schedule as close to our school schedule as possible. But every year, little by little, our routine shifts. I was thinking about it earlier this week and I realized that I'm trying to make summer into something else. Not that "summer" is set in stone, but there are certain activities and adjustments that naturally come with this season.

This week during my devotions, I read Exodus 3 where God introduces Himself to Moses. And when Moses asks God's name, He replies, "I am who I am." As I pondered that response, I was challenged to examine what I think about God. He has clearly revealed Himself to us in creation and through His Word, and yet I struggle with trying to make Him something He is not. I want Him to be a package with a neat little bow. Or I simply cannot believe that He is so unlike every human I know. But His statement to Moses, "I am who I am" reminds me that He is far too big for packages and bows. And He is indeed very unlike His sinful creatures. He is God.

Then Moses said to God, “If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what shall I say to them?” God said to Moses, “I am who I am.” And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel, ‘I am has sent me to you.’”
Exodus 3:13-14

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Fickle

Last Sunday morning was chaos in my house. It seems like some level of chaos is the norm on Sunday mornings, but this time it reached a new high. Females have a strange habit of trying on several different outfits before they find the one that suits them, and we have four in the house. I had to advise on so many combinations that I lost count! Not to mention the numerous items I sifted through for myself. There were more clothes on the beds than in the closets by the time we left for church! We are just so fickle!

I was reminded of this as I thought through Psalm 106 this morning. In that Psalm, we have an abbreviated history of the Jewish nation. I was troubled as I read of God's faithfulness, and their repeated forgetfulness and rebellion. They would follow and praise God briefly, and then they would pursue something else. I felt like I was looking in a mirror. Except that they had less and knew less. I don't know when this Psalm was written, but when God delivered the Israelites from Egypt, they didn't have any written Scripture. And throughout the Old Testament they didn't have the Spirit dwelling in them. I have the entire Bible AND the Spirit. I am without excuse. But God...

Many times he delivered them, but they were rebellious in their purposes and were brought low through their iniquity. Nevertheless, he looked upon their distress, when he heard their cry. For their sake he remembered his covenant, and relented according to the abundance of his steadfast love.
Psalms 106:43-45


Before He created anything, God knew that we would sin and then be unable to keep His law. He knew we would be fickle in our following, even with the Bible and the Spirit. So Jesus came to be faithful in my place, and the place of all His people. And he paid for all my fickle unfaithfulness with His blameless life.

So Jesus again said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
John 10:7-11

Monday, June 8, 2015

Bridegroom

Tomorrow is my anniversary. My Shorty and I have been married for fourteen years. Today we are dropping the Crew off with my parents and leaving for an overnight stay near where we had our honeymoon. So I've been thinking about weddings. Every year for the last fourteen years, we have done something to celebrate our marriage. But not once in any of those years have we spent time talking about how great our best man was. He did his job as best man, and is still a dear friend, but the best man is not the focal point of a wedding or marriage.

I struggle with wanting to be the center of things. I want to be noticed and praised. And I have been convicted by John the Baptist's words "He must increase, but I must decrease." I'm cool with Jesus increasing as long as I get to increase too. Which is foolish, but there it is. I'm a narcissistic fool.

As I read through John last week, I noticed that part of the reason that John the Baptist was able to make such a profoundly abnormal statement to his disciples was because he had a proper understanding of who he was. He understood that he was a "friend of the bridegroom". He was the best man. The bride was not for him. The wedding was not about him.

And I was encouraged for ministry. Dear Christian, dear pastor or teacher, dear brother or sister, whatever your capacity in ministry (and if you are a believer, you are doing some kind of ministry) remember that you are the "best man". The bride (the church) is not for you. The kingdom is Christ's. The wedding is about him. Take joy in your Bridegroom.

Now a discussion arose between some of John's disciples and a Jew over purification. And they came to John and said to him, "Rabbi, he who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you bore witness--look, he is baptizing, and all are going to him." John answered, "A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, 'I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.' The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. He must increase, but I must decrease."
John 3:25-30

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Darkness

Are you afraid of the dark? If you're more than ten, you'd probably answer no. By the time I was about ten, I told people that I wasn't afraid of the dark, I was just afraid of the stuff that could be HIDING in the dark. But isn't that really what fear of the dark is? Fear of the bogey man. Fear of sinister creatures or creepy crawlies. Fear of the unknown.

I recently began a Bible study in John. The first week delves into the prologue (John 1:1-18), in which we are introduced to Jesus as the Word, the life, and the light which shines into the darkness. And we are told that this Light has not been overcome by the darkness. I've been pondering this for several days. The implication is that the Light has not only not been overcome, but is actually OVERCOMING the darkness.

But as I thought about the darkness, I made some fresh observations. Always before when I read these verses, I thought of the "darkness" as the devil and his demons. There is certainly a sense in which this is true. Christ has shone into the kingdom of darkness, and He has defeated Satan. Another "darkness" into which Christ shines is the darkness of society. There are social issues and injustices, and the light of the gospel shines to improve and alleviate them. But this week, after a season of vicious wrestling with my sin, I was so encouraged to realize that Christ's light has shone, and continues to shine, into the darkness in MY HEART and that darkness HAS NOT OVERCOME. Not only has not, but WILL NOT! Christ will accomplish his purpose in my life for his glory. That is WONDERFUL news!

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:1-5

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Carried

I have always loved the "Footprints In The Sand" poem. It is such a comforting reminder that even when we feel alone in the trials of life, God is NEAR. He carries us.

In Exodus 28, God gives Moses instructions for making the high priestly garments. Twice in those garments, Aaron (and every high priest following him) are bearing or carrying the names of the tribes of Israel "before the Lord". It really jumped out at me earlier this year, and did so again today. The first "bearing" takes place on Aaron's shoulders. This encouraged me because the shoulders are a place of strength. The second "bearing" is over Aaron's heart. This also encouraged me because the heart represents affections.

I can't read about Aaron without thinking of Jesus. The New Testament writers tell us that Jesus is the Great High Priest. He is the one that Aaron and all his sons foreshadowed. So as I'm reading about Aaron bearing the names of the Israelites before the Lord, I'm thinking of Jesus bearing MY name before the Lord. Carrying me in the strength of His sacrifice for my sin. Carrying me in the affection of a lover for his bride. It's amazing!

And you shall set the two stones on the shoulder pieces of the ephod, as stones of remembrance for the sons of Israel. And Aaron shall bear their names before the LORD on his two shoulders for remembrance.
Exodus 28:12


So Aaron shall bear the names of the sons of Israel in the breastpiece of judgment on his heart, when he goes into the Holy Place, to bring them to regular remembrance before the LORD.
Exodus 28:29


For on the one hand, a former commandment is set aside because of its weakness and uselessness (for the law made nothing perfect); but on the other hand, a better hope is introduced, through which we draw near to God. And it was not without an oath. For those who formerly became priests were made such without an oath, but this one was made a priest with an oath by the one who said to him: "The Lord has sworn and will not change his mind, 'You are a priest forever.'" This makes Jesus the guarantor of a better covenant. The former priests were many in number, because they were prevented by death from continuing in office, but he holds his priesthood permanently, because he continues forever. Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.
Hebrews 7:18-25

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Comfort Food

Warm chocolate chip cookies. Fresh cinnamon rolls. Biscuits and gravy. Chicken and dumplings. Meatballs and mashed potatoes. Apple pie. This kind of food is in a group that we affectionately refer to as "comfort food". It makes tastebuds sing, bellies feel warm and satisfied, and happy chemicals course through the bloodstream.

When I am stressed, I enjoy cooking and eating. And I've been stressed a lot over the past several months. I've tipped the scale ten pounds heavier since the beginning of the school year. But over recent weeks, I've begun to feel very convicted about how I'm feeding my body. (This IS NOT a "sugar and fat and carbs are evil" rant. I believe that sugar and carbs and fat are GOOD in moderation. ) The issue of my conviction is that I have been turning to food for comfort. And it's as if the Lord has been telling me, "You say you believe that I am your Comforter, but in the moment of testing you reach for the muffin. Your actions say that the muffin is greater than Me." I'd like to argue, but the truth of it resonates in my soul. I've trusted food for comfort, but all it has done is expand my waistline.

Dear Christian, what are you running to for comfort? If it is anything other than our Good God, repent and BELIEVE that He is the God of all comfort.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves have been comforted by God. For if we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.
2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Kneel Down

There are two ways to get on a child's level and interact. If you are a parent, (and maybe even if you're not) you've probably done both regularly. The first is to lift them up and carry them. In fact, this is primary for the first year or so of life. Then, as the child grows, you begin to employ the second. You kneel down so that you can look one another in the eye as you speak. I've both seen and been that tender picture many times. I think it is so beautiful because it expresses the child's dignity as a person. And it displays the great love of the parent toward the child. So as I read in Exodus this morning, that is the image seared in my mind.

God gave Moses VERY detailed instructions for building the tabernacle. It was to be built EXACTLY according to the pattern God showed him. The tabernacle was God's dwelling among the Israelites. As you read the pattern, you get the image of a stacked structure. The bases for the courtyard are bronze and their tops are silver. Then in the tabernacle proper, the bases are silver and their tops are gold. Except at the entrance. The bases of the entrance are BRONZE! It's as if, in the building, God is kneeling down to meet with them. Then we learn in the New Testament that the greatest expression of God kneeling down to us came when Christ became a man. He lived as one of us. He died for us. And He lives!

You shall make a screen for the entrance of the tent, of blue and purple and scarlet yarns and fine twined linen, embroidered with needlework. And you shall make for the screen five pillars of acacia, and overlay them with gold. Their hooks shall be of gold, and you shall cast five bases of bronze for them.
Exodus 26:36-37

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:14



Monday, April 27, 2015

Light of the World

Last weekend, our electric transformer popped. I had just finished cooking our dinner. (Small blessings.) So I lit our two scented candles and two oil lamps and we ate by candlelight. Instead of our normal movie night, we played a board game. But I quickly became frustrated because between the dim light and my aging eyes, it was quite difficult for me to play. In fact, when the electricity came on a couple hours later, I felt like I was seeing the game board for the first time! And I was reminded of Jesus's declaration that He is the light of the world.

Light is such a huge thing. It is absolutely necessary for us to be able to see. It causes plants, and therefore food, to grow. It provides warmth to varying degrees. And it triggers hormones in our bodies that make us feel happy.

And Jesus says I am the light. I'll cause you to see.
I am the light. I'll sustain you, and provide for you.
I am the light. I'll give you warmth.
I am the light. I'll make you happier than you can even imagine.

Again Jesus spoke to them saying, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
John 8:12

Saturday, April 11, 2015

I am

I love Exodus. At this particular point in my life, it may be my favorite book in the Bible! Most recently I'm into the command section. God has freed the Israelites from slavery. He has led them safely through the Red Sea. He has graciously provided their needs through the wilderness. And now He is with them at Mount Sinai, giving them the law. These two verses  jumped off the page at me.

If ever you take your neighbor's cloak in pledge, you shall return it to him before the sun goes down, for that is his only covering, and it is his cloak for his body; in what else shall he sleep? And if he cries to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate. 
Exodus 22:26-27

When I read that "I am" statement, the first thing I thought of was in chapter twenty when God says that He is a jealous God. He made them. He redeemed them. And He refuses to share their worship, their affections, with anyone or anything else. I thought it was a beautiful balance when a couple chapters later He tells us that He is compassionate.

compassion: a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering  (Dictionary.com)

As I did a little digging, I realized that Exodus is FULL of "I am" statements. God introduces Himself to the Israelites as "I am". All through the plagues He reiterates "I am the LORD". And after they crossed the Red Sea, He declares Himself to be their healer. Exodus is the beautiful story of the Holy God who redeems and reveals Himself to a weak and wayward people.

The LORD descended in the cloud and stood with [Moses] there, and proclaimed the name of the LORD. The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and fourth generation."
Exodus 34:5-7

Sunday, April 5, 2015

International Treasure

Our schedule right now is generally open on Saturday evenings, so we eat "kid-friendly " snack foods and watch a movie. Last night we watched "National Treasure". If you're not familiar with the story, the main character believes that the American founding fathers hid a massive treasure and then left behind the clues to find it in things like our currency and national monuments. I was struck last night about the lengths to which he is willing to go to find this legendary treasure. His family  (and he) have utterly ruined their reputations. His father says that a one dollar bill is the sum total of their family fortune. He risks his freedom and even his life to keep the villain from getting the treasure. And he is perpetually drawing other people into the hunt.

Today is Resurrection Sunday. It is, as one of our church family pointed out this morning, the "Super Bowl" of Christianity. This is the height of our year, because on this day we remember, in a heightened way, that our Savior is ALIVE. He died, and now is alive forevermore! And I was reminded of the parable of the pearl.

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.  "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it. 
Matthew 13:44-46


Saturday, March 28, 2015

They be young?

A few years ago, we celebrated my parents' thirtieth wedding anniversary by throwing them a surprise reception. Part of the preparation included gathering photos of my parents to make a slideshow. I did the legwork because I was local, and my sister (who lived several states away) did the slideshow because she's more adept with computers. As a result, I ended up with lots of my parents' photos on my computer. One afternoon, as I was working on details, my youngest came in to talk to me. The screen saver was scrolling through the pictures on the computer and it came to one of my parents' first Christmas together. She looked at me and said, "Mama, who that?" I replied that it was her Grandmama and Abuelo. She said, "That not Grandmama and Abuelo."
"Yes it is."
"No it not."
"Yes it is. It's Grandmama and Abuelo when they were young."
"That Grandmama and Abuelo?"
"Yes, that's Grandmama and Abuelo when they were young."
"That Grandmama and Abuelo? They be young?!?"
"Yes. That's Grandmama and Abuelo when they were young."
At which point she ran through the house telling her siblings that they had to come see this picture of Grandmama and Abuelo when "they be young".

At the time I thought it was hilarious that my daughter couldn't imagine my parents being young. But a couple years ago, my grandmother came to live with my parents, and I got to read my Pawpaw's love letters to her. While I know that my grandparents were young (at some point in the distant past!), it was bizarre to read Pawpaw's words as a twenty-something because I didn't know him until several decades later. It is quite hard for me to imagine him ever being young.

And I began to ponder. I've noticed as I continue to read through Scripture that people simply cannot believe that God is so unlike us. Again and again people project humanity and sin onto God. And again and again God tells us that He is not like us. He is mighty. He is good. He is faithful. He is holy. He is love. Friend, this is where faith comes in. Even though it goes against all our experiences with weak, sinful people, we must believe that what God tells us about Himself is true. Dear Friend, hear. Believe. And live.

God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?
Numbers 23:19
 

Of old you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but you are the same, and your years have no end.
Psalms 102:25-27
 

Who is like the LORD our God, who is seated on high, who looks far down on the heavens and the earth?
Psalms 113:5-6
 

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:14
 

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.
Colossians 1:15-20

Friday, March 27, 2015

Support

When I was pregnant with my youngest, I had a really easy pregnancy until the last three weeks. But I hurt so much and so constantly the last three weeks as my body prepared for labor, that it nearly overshadowed all the good weeks. I asked the ladies at our Wednesday night Bible study to pray that my baby would hurry up and join us, because I hurt all the time and was having incredible difficulty taking care of my little family. I didn't want to ask them to help me with my responsibilities. My thought was, "I got myself into this situation, and I need to handle it." But my sweet sisters did my laundry and provided meals for us for the rest of that week. And I was thankful.

Fast forward about eight years. I have a whole other set of responsibilities and difficulties all revolving around the same family. And I am still reluctant to ask for help, because I still think that I've gotten myself into this situation and I should handle it. So I was both challenged and encouraged while I read about Moses this morning.

Moses acted as both prophet and priest for the Israelites. He spoke God's words to them, and he interceded on their behalf before the Lord. In terms of responsibility, Moses was no slouch. But there are two scenes back to back, which give us a glimpse of Moses' need. First, Moses stands on a hill as Joshua leads the army into battle. As long as Moses keeps his arms raised, the Israelites are winning the battle. But when his arms fall, they begin to lose. While God could have easily supplied Moses with supernatural endurance, He chooses instead to use the people in Moses' life to support him. His brother Aaron, and another man named Hur stand on either side of Moses and give him the support to hold up his arms until the end of the battle. Then in the following chapter, Moses' father-in-law instructs him to stop trying to settle all the Israelites' disputes by himself. In fact, he tells Moses that he is wearing out himself AND the people.

And I began to think... I worry about "how much" I have to do. But I certainly don't have more on my plate than Moses did. And I think that my family will fall apart if I don't get the laundry done, and cook, and clean, and get through that certain number of lessons in their schoolwork, and balance the checkbook, and... and... and... But the Lord is gently teaching me that I am needy. And that I NEED to ask for help when life gets tough. Not just from Him, but also from the people He has placed in my life. And, dear Christian, you do too.

Then Amalek came and fought with Israel at Rephidim. So Moses said to Joshua, "Choose for us men, and go out and fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand." So Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought with Amalek, while Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. And Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword.
Exodus 17:8-13

Monday, March 23, 2015

Words of Life

I love words. And stories. And books. I was telling Shorty this weekend that I devour books. Especially novels. And while all my Crew have acquired some of my taste for the written word, my oldest is especially captivated. She is well on the way to having her own collection of stories. For us, books are fun! Since she has professed faith in Christ, I've been encouraging her to begin reading the Bible for herself. I even challenged her recently to NOT read one of her novels for fun until she has read in the Bible for that day.

Shepherding her in this area has been a challenge and encouragement to me as well. While I don't have as much time to read for pleasure as I once had, when I do begin a story, I tend to get sucked in so that all my attention is focused on reaching the ending. And sometimes I neglect things that are more important. Sometimes I choose to read the next chapter of the novel rather than do my devotions. But while that offers a brief pleasure, it doesn't satisfy my soul. Kind of like a child who would rather eat dessert than meat and fruits and veggies. Food for fun or food for life? Words for fun or words of life? Dear Christian, as you spend your moments today, please fuel your soul with the words of life!

After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. So Jesus said to the Twelve, "Do you want to go away as well?" Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God."
John 6:66-69

Monday, March 16, 2015

who IS

Yesterday during our church's worship service, we sang "Revelation Song".

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come..."

As we sang, I was reminded afresh of my need for the God who IS. I need Him in THIS moment. I need Him for THIS day.

In the opening verses of Revelation, we are introduced to God the Father as "him who is and who was and who is to come". As I've muddle and stumbled and trudged through this school year with my Crew, I've been faced with my own bankruptcy. I really have nothing to offer apart from the work of Christ in me. And while I need to remember the God who was. That is, the God who was faithful to me last week, and last month, and last year, and five years ago... The God who was loving and kind and powerful. And while I need to know that He doesn't change, that He is able to bring His plan to completion and finally restore this broken world. The God who is to come. In the midst of the heaviness of living as a sinner in a fallen world, I need the God who IS. He is faithful in this moment, for this day. He is loving in this moment, for this day. He is kind in this moment, for this day. He is powerful in this moment, for this day. He is accomplishing His purpose in me and in His church and in His world. And one glorious day His church will be perfected, finally and fully freed from sin. And this world will be fixed, no more pain or sickness or death. And He will still be the God who IS.

Then Moses said to God, "If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' what shall I say to them?" God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM." And he said, "Say this to the people of Israel, 'I AM has sent me to you.'"
Exodus 3:13-14

John to the seven churches that are in Asia: Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven spirits who are before his throne, and from Jesus Christ the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of kings on earth. To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood and made us a kingdom, priests to his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
Revelation 1:4-6

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Multiplication: Part 2

I didn't exactly intend there to be a part two, but as I read chapter 11 of Exodus this morning, the word "multiplied" jumped out at me. By chapter 11, we've moved from the oppression of the Hebrews in Egypt all the way through the ninth plague. And Moses has told Pharaoh that God is going to send a final plague in which all the firstborn of Egypt will die.

Then the LORD said to Moses, "Pharaoh will not listen to you, that my wonders may be multiplied in the land of Egypt."
Exodus 11:9
(emphasis mine)

When Moses first returned to Egypt from Midian, he went to Pharaoh as God had commanded, but the results were not at all what he was expecting. Rather than releasing the Hebrews, Pharaoh INCREASED their workload by telling them to gather their own straw while making the same number of bricks. (Prior to this, Pharaoh had provided straw for them.) Moses went to God and prayed, "...you have not delivered your people at all." For the next few chapters God does wonder after wonder with the purpose of revealing Himself both to the Hebrews as the God who saves them, and to the Egyptians as the God who is greater than all their gods combined. And their story serves the same purpose for us today. That you may know...

I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples.
Psalms 77:11-14

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Wrestling

My youngest daughter played basketball this year. She was in the youngest age group. You know, the ones who really have no idea what they're doing, but they look really cute doing it. There was a little girl on one of the other teams who was assigned to guard my daughter several quarters one game, and it was a HUGE frustration for me because this particular little girl seemed to think that "guarding" meant "grab and hold". As a result, it looked more like a wrestling match than basketball between those two girls. After the game I was still a bit frustrated, and my daughter told me, "Well, Mama, I started holding on to her too." At which point I explained to her that that is not legal in basketball. And that when her team has the ball, she should try to get away from her defender.

I've thought about that game quite a bit the last couple weeks. And it's lead me to ponder how I interact with my sin. Remembering that sin is something INSIDE me, not outside of me. It is something that I'm supposed to be working to eradicate from my life. Or, borrowing the words of a Puritan brother, to mortify it. But I'm afraid that there are times when, despite my best efforts, I end up hanging on. I end up wrestling when I should be running. Thankfully, the Spirit lives in me to call me back to running. Christ always lived faithfully in my place, and now always lives to intercede for me. And the Father loves me and is faithful to complete the work He's begun.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.
Ephesians 6:10-13

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Multiplication

At present I have taught three of my Crew to multiply. My youngest isn't quite old enough yet. The definition in my teacher's manual is that multiplication is a fast way to add the same number again and again.

I'm reading about the plagues in Exodus. For the first few plagues, the Egyptian magicians try to duplicate them. This struck me as rather ridiculous. God turns the Nile (which was their main water source) to blood, and the magicians say, "Well, we'll just turn MORE of the water to blood." (That is a bit of conjecture on my part. The Bible doesn't tell us what they were thinking, it only tells us what they did.) Then when God sends swarms of frogs to overrun their homes, the magicians bring in MORE frogs. And I thought, "Why in the world would they want to multiply their trouble?"

As I stewed on that, I realized that they were trying to prove that they were equal to this unknown-to-them god. If they could do what he did, they need not fear him. And in the beginning they did duplicate His work. They turned water to blood. They brought frogs up out of the Nile. And they multiplied their misery.

Then I realized that there are many ways in which I try to live as though I don't need God. Living as a sinner among other sinners in this fallen world is often miserable. There are good things, pleasant things, times of happiness. But there is just a whole lot of YUCK. There is still SO MUCH sin in my heart. And I don't like it. So I make my plans, and then I work hard to accomplish MY plan. Usually I end up frustrated because my plans just don't work out. There are too many variables over which I have no control. So I multiply my misery.

What I need is not to prove that I don't need God. Rather, I need to realize MORE how much I do NEED Him. And because of Christ's sacrifice in my place, and the work of the Spirit in my heart, that is what's happening. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly.

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
Titus 3:3-7

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Sacrifice of Praise

Drowning. Pulled. Torn. Drained. Empty. Exhausted. These are the kinds of words that have frequently described how I've felt for the last few months. And while the last couple of weeks have seen marked improvement, Sunday mornings have been a bigger than normal challenge. Sunday morning worship has been a foundational part of my life since before I can remember. And much of the time, I was eager to meet with God and His people. I enjoyed (and still enjoy) singing praises to the Lord. I loved (and still love) communing with the Lord in prayer. I listened attentively (much of the time) to the preaching of the Word. And I was refreshed. But these last couple of Sundays, just as I feel that I'm about to get REALLY engaged in the worship service, one of my children begins to pull at me. They need to go to the bathroom. They forgot a bulletin. They don't want brother/sister touching them. What does that word mean? Why are you holding your hands like that? And I fall apart. You know when glass shatters and the shards scatter from one end of the room to the other? That's me, because I so DESPERATELY want to be refreshed, but I feel like I'm missing it.

To the choirmaster. A Maskil of the Sons of Korah. As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?
Psalms 42:1-2


As I was pondering my fall apart earlier, I was reminded of this verse:

Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.
Hebrews 13:15


I used to hear the phrase "sacrifice of praise" and wonder what that was. I know that it is never really EASY to worship the Lord properly this side of glory, but when you acknowledge that the goodness in your life is from the Lord, and it feels like there is a lot of goodness, it's pretty easy to praise. On the other hand, when you feel like you're drowning... or being pulled in too many directions... or exhausted, it becomes very difficult to acknowledge His name.

Then I was reminded of the widow who offered her two mites. There is something precious to God about us offering Him our best, like Abel. But there is also something precious to God about us offering Him the very last, bottom of the barrel, I'll-die-if-I-give-this-up. And that encouraged me for today. And for tomorrow. And hopefully for next Sunday, as I shepherd my Crew through another Sunday morning worship...

A Psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah. O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
Psalms 63:1-8

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

...and God knew.

Exodus has been really rich for me this time through. So much so that when I tried to move to another book, I was drawn back. So now I'm just hanging out, trying to plumb the depths of this great book.

I'm one of those people who writes in my Bible. And you could probably tell in which books I've spent the most time by how much color is on the pages. Yesterday I read chapter one, and it is really marked up. Today I noticed, as I was reading, that there is almost no color on chapter two. Because I know how much color is in the remaining chapters, I found this lack interesting. So when I reached the underlined phrase at the end, it really packed a punch.

...and God knew.
Exodus 2:25b

God has shown Himself, throughout Genesis, to be intimately interested and involved in the lives of His creatures. He sees them. He walks among them. He grieves over their sin. He preserves them in times of difficulty. He promises and provides good for them. And in two verses here in Exodus, God heard, remembered, saw, and knew. Which got me thinking...

He knew their pain in slavery. He knew their hopelessness under the burdens of the Egyptians. He knew His promise to make them a nation with a land of their own. And He knew His plan for accomplishing that promise. Which means...

He knows my pain as I struggle with the idols of my weak, sinful heart. He knows His promise to one day fully free me from my sin. And He knows His plan for accomplishing that glorious promise. Which brings us to Jesus.

Jesus is the promised Son who crushed the serpent's head.

Jesus is the perfect Lamb of sacrifice.

Jesus is the King who leads His people faithfully.

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned-- every one-- to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
Isaiah 53: 4-6

Monday, February 23, 2015

Hidden Beauty

I've been reading in Exodus during my devotions the last few weeks. This is not my first trip through, and I was struck again by the overwhelming beauty of the tabernacle. So much gold and silver and jewels. The vibrant red, blue, and purple embroidery. The intricate details of the furniture in the tabernacle proper. Then I remembered that, apart from the first generation of Israelites who helped build it, only the priests saw it. The embroidered curtains of the tabernacle were covered with plain old goat skin. Great for weatherproofing, but not terribly attractive. And even the Levites, who were appointed to carry the tabernacle furniture when their camp moved, weren't allowed to come get it until it was covered up by the priests. So all that extravagant beauty was hidden from the majority of the people.

Fast forward a few thousand years, and a lot has changed. God's people are no longer bound to a geographic location or a particular bloodline. We are told in John's gospel that those who worship God will worship in spirit and truth. The good news that Christ died for sinners is being proclaimed around the globe. We have access, through Christ, into the intimate presence of God. And yet I began to wonder if I am hiding the beauty of Christ. I've been called to proclaim the beauty of the gospel. But am I, by my words and actions (or lack thereof), hiding it instead? Have I taken my proverbial lamp and stuck it under a basket?

"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. 
Matthew 5:13-16

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Weakness

I have been accused by my friends and family of being Supermom. She's the one who seems to always have something going, and be doing it all well. My Crew will tell a slightly different story depending on the kid and the day. But since actions speak louder than words, and they are perpetually asking me to commit to another "something", I think they must think I'm pretty super too.

Let me be incredibly honest. I don't have it all together. I try really hard to do what I do faithfully and with excellence, but I am weak. There are days, weeks, months, when I feel like I'm failing at everything. There are times when I feel like I'm drowning in responsibilities. I. Am. Weak. And that doesn't even begin to touch my sin struggles!

As I've struggled with my weakness and sin the past few weeks, three things have stood out to me. First, God is my rock. Inevitably the worst days are the ones when I try to make it in my own strength (which is insubstantial). Second, God loves me. He proves this by His patient and persistent correction, and by the care of His people for me. And third, His strength is highlighted by my weakness. To be able to utilize the strength of a mighty person isn't that impressive. But to use a weakling in mighty ways shows amazing strength. So, I will boast of my weakness for His might to be magnified.


But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Rest

Last week at prayer meeting, a sister asked that we pray for her because she has many responsibilities. She said that every night when she goes to bed, something on her list remains undone. Shorty leaned over and whispered, "I've heard this before." He was poking fun at me because we've had that conversation monthly, maybe even weekly, for quite some time. Well, several of our brothers in the group prayed for her, and the consistent request was that she be able to rest.

As I have pondered work and rest this week, I've noted four reasons to rest. They've encouraged me, and hopefully they will encourage you as well.
1. Rest because you need it.
In the beginning, God gave us the model of rest after work. He didn't need to rest, but because we are creatures, we do. Our resting is a testimony that we are not God.
2. Rest because it is commanded.
God knows that we are not good at doing what is best for us. So, because He is a loving Father, He tells us what we need to do for our good.
3. Rest because God is in control.
The Bible tells us that God never sleeps. He never needs anything. And He is in ultimate control over the events and creatures in His world.
4. Rest because Jesus finished His work.
Again and again in the gospels, Jesus tells us that He came to save sinners. He did this by perfectly keeping God's law in our place, then bearing God's wrath against our sin in our place. The resurrection tells us that His sacrifice is sufficient. He completed His work, and so has become our rest.

So, dear Christian, be diligent in work, but take time to rest. Because even if you don't always finish what you set out to do, Christ did. Rest in His completed work.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30

Monday, January 19, 2015

All People Will Know

When I got up this morning, thoughts of doctors and hospitals were the furthest thing from my mind. It is a holiday, the weather was beautiful, and we had planned an afternoon trip to the zoo. Instead we had our first broken bone. My son had spent the night with a friend, and had an accident with his new ripstick. We met them at the local hospital where the doctor quickly began the process to fix the arm.

We had all the usual suspects for support, doctors, nurses, and other medical staff. Shorty has family who work at the hospital, and they were with us off and on. And my parents live in town. But we were also served by several of our church family through their presence, prayers, food, calls to check on us, and care for our girls.

After we got home and the excitement wore off, I was reminded of when Jesus told His disciples that they would be known by their love for each other. The world is watching how we love. The acts of love we were offered were quiet. So maybe sometimes they "see" because we tell.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
John 13:34-35

Sunday, January 11, 2015

No Grandchildren

This past summer, my oldest daughter was experiencing a significant life event at the same time I was going to be gone for a weekend. I did my best to inform and encourage her, and ended by saying that if she had questions and COULDN'T reach me, she could call my mom. The look on her face was absolute horror and mortification. I've reflected on this conversation a lot since, and I realized that I would have responded the same way. This got me thinking about the difference in the parent/child relationship as compared to the grandparent/grandchild relationship. My relationship with my mommy is good, so it is completely natural for me to discuss topics of a personal nature with her. Not so much with either of my grandmothers. (Not because the relationships are bad, but because they are a bit more distant. Almost a relationship by association.)

As I have contemplated this, it occurred to me that in God's family there are no grandchildren. When a person places his or her hope in Christ for salvation, he or she becomes a CHILD of God. And with that comes all the privilege and intimacy of the relationship. As our Father, God is always able and willing, even eager, to listen to us. And although it may not feel natural to talk to Him at first, as you come to know Him more and more, it should grow easier. So I challenge you, Christian, talk to your Father today.

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!"
Galatians 4:4-6

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Lavish

My Shorty LOVES to give me gifts. He listens when I say I like something. He seems to store each "like" away in a mental filing cabinet. The month of December is particularly fun for him as both my birthday and Christmas fall in it. This year it felt like he was especially lavish, although I don't think he actually spent any more than normal.

I pondered this a lot in the throes of our holiday busyness. I was repeatedly reminded of the lavish nature of God's interactions with us. We were utterly unlovely. We had chosen to be His enemies. But He sent His Son to save us from our sins. And not just to pay our sin debt, but to make us part of His family! He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (Romans8:32)

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
Ephesians 1:7-10